I might start dating a girl who is ~23, and I'm : AskMen

10 Types of 30-Year-Old Single Guys

23 year old man dating 31 year old woman

Five years is one thing. We had a lot of fun together, she was an amazing person, I could have been with her for ages, but the way she would defend her friends and treat me around them on the couple occasions I was involved made it obvious she had the baggage of dating me. I was hoping she was in her late twenties.

Commentary

Ah fuck it who am I kidding I'm still a child myself. But you'll be at different stages in your lives. Just raise the bar on what she is use to. A certain length of time, reaching a certain age, etc. And I know what it looked like to her friends and family, beautiful blonde hooks up with successful world traveller.

They saw his post as being against their rules, which is completely fair, and then he responds with:. If someone's reading comprehension level is above a third grade reading level, you can plainly see that is what it is asking about Kind of feel OP is being a little dishonest with himself if he thinks they were "accusing him" of being combative.

He kind of was, wasn't he? Thanks for the heads up. Approaching 30 here and been on a few dates with a 21 year old that is showing some promise. We were together for about 10 months or so, but was a year in the making more or less. We had been friends, I had a girlfriend, she had a boyfriend, and that was that. We suddenly both were single at the same time, and since we shared so many common interests, genuinely had a really great time together, could talk for hours on end about anything and everything.

Honestly, one of my healthier relationships. Her friends and family did not approve. So they made it impossible to do anything, they didn't want to meet me, and wouldn't even give me a chance, they just tried to always get her to be with them so she couldn't be with me. They didn't care how she felt, they only cared about their perceptions. So , sadly, despite how great we were, there were challenges. We broke up for about 2 weeks, then when we got back together her parents realized we actually liked each other and they accepted me and us.

So what to expect, she would put herself first, mainly because she doesn't know any better. IN her eyes she wasn't doing anything wrong by doing things without me, never involving me and taking mixed sex vacations without me. Before you say I am an idiot, I had no reason to suspect cheating, she isn't like that, Ive known her for a while.. Money wasn't really an issue, she had a good job, she could pay her way for things, but I have a great job, so rarely would I let her.

Society wasn't bad, as she seemed much older than her age and i didn't look as old as I am. So in public we never got a weird look, were always fine and always greeted as a couple with no issues. My friends, co-workers and colleagues treated her with respect and as an equal, her friends still would never even meet me.

We had a lot of fun together, she was an amazing person, I could have been with her for ages, but the way she would defend her friends and treat me around them on the couple occasions I was involved made it obvious she had the baggage of dating me. And I know what it looked like to her friends and family, beautiful blonde hooks up with successful world traveller.

No one cared that we were genuinely happy. So the point of this long babble, it can work, but just know that the world outside of you two will influence so many things that will be beyond your control, and all it takes is a few minutes of weakness to get upset about it.

I was a toddler! So in public we never got a weird look. That's something I hadn't thought about. I'm 28 and the guy I'm into is 40 and people always think I'm way younger than I am, like to the point where I'm frequently uncomfortable in certain places walking around with my toddler I get weird looks. I'm ok with being 28 and seeing a year-old. I don't know how ok I am if random people think I'm a teenager. My last boyfriend was Dating older men is awesome and I think the feeling is mutual.

I love the thought that my age is a factor in his attraction to me--in some probably fucked up way it made me feel really good to know how good he felt dating someone so much younger than him. It was also pretty hot at first being his arm candy.

I'm a pretty confidant woman and take a lot of pride in my appearance and in cultivating interesting experiences and skills etc. Downfalls- Being in such different places in your life will create some issues. I have found that when you're in the arena of 10 years, your cultural reference points will be different.

This isn't a big deal, but it does mean a lot of explaining about certain things. It also can be a bit awkward introducing friends and family.

My 37 year old boyfriend definitely did a LOT of work trying to find a friend amongst the boyfriends of my friends. Not like he couldn't find common ground, but the age difference really was apparent among friends closer to my age. Ultimately the biggest issue between us was that our wants are so different.

I want to be in a committed relationship, but am not looking for anything immediately serious. He either wants a FWB or a wife, no compromise. I have a question for you if you don't mind taking a few moments to answer.

At what point in a committed relationship would you consider marriage? A certain length of time, reaching a certain age, etc. I've noticed that as people age they tend to jump into things like marriage more quickly and the times spent dating shrink, while younger people tend to want to wait for marriage and ride relationships out longer before getting hitched.

I'm trying to figure out if it's a maturity, generational or societal thing. I'm drafting a response to a article that's been circulating recently, lack your perspective, and am intrigued by the dichotomy you describe. Doesn't it feel scary knowing that if they were primarily attracted to your age, they might want to "upgrade" you to a younger model in a few years? Nobody stays young forever. Relying on your youth to keep his attention is very unreliable, IMO.

I'm surprised that many women and men dating older people don't really seem to consider this. That is definitely a reality I have considered, but in my case it's a two way street. Yes, in a few years he might decide that my age is no longer sexy, but I will probably come to the same conclusion.

I'm in my 20's, still spry, active, and a little irresponsible. He is closer to his 40's, and the biggest outings we ever did were baseball games and getting drunk at our local watering hole.

Total babe, but not as much fun as he probably was in his 20s or 30s. I don't want a partner who wants to go out all the time and I am very introverted. But I imagine that when I'm in my 30's and he's closer to 50, i would be ready to bite into something a little closer to my own age. He might not find me sexy, but I might find him boring. On the other side of the coin, it's not like our age gap would shrink.

And I plan on staying hot forever. I'm twenty four and my boyfriend just turned thirty two. We both never went to college and work similar jobs so we had some common ground to start with. Building on that, we are just opposite enough to fit really well together. I'm actually the more serious one about rules and such.

He keeps me in the moment and lightens things up when I get anxious. So far so good. No one has given me any trouble about it. I suspect he might get judged a little more than me. Why do you think the male is judged? I mean I look at it from a biological standpoint, it seems common for men of all ages to find younger women attractive. Yet there seems to be societal backlash against it. I just find it interesting. Because women get angry that they're no longer lusted after as much as they were in their youth?

You got a young, spritely, pretty and they have to go home to their tired, older, more relaxed wives. I think it also may be perceived as making a commentary on the male's emotional or psychological maturity, i. However absurd this argument all is, it may make him seem under-matured himself.

I've had it before, but usually it gives way to other feelings once I get to know the guy. I either look up to him, or I think he is scum. I'm on the younger side 22m , so it's guys that my female friends date. Luckily the later guys actually stay around for more than a few weeks. When a younger person hooks up with an older person, regardless of gender, the younger one is generally praised, while the older one is often looked down upon.

Never noticed this, quite the opposite. Also older men dating younger women are seen more as perverts while older women dating younger women are seen as "goddesses". Madonna is a "strong female character" with her boytoys, Doug Hutchison is a "pedophile". I suppose it depends on how old you are. My statement is reversed. Because those people who complain about that tend to be women over 30 who are aware of the fact that their standing in the dating scene suffers from the presence of younger, hotter women; and who partake in a collective shaming effort against men who violate their expectation to date within their own demographic.

Guys who don't date younger women as well often join that shaming system because they have internalized these norms and think that "a man shouldn't do that" without actually questioning why.

The fact that journalists from this demographic are also those who are most prone to write about that or about how much more awesome "mature" women are exacerbates that problem; also known as Sailer's Law of Female Journalism: The most heartfelt articles by female journalists tend to be demands that social values be overturned in order that, Come the Revolution, the journalist herself will be considered hotter-looking.

What a weirdo, can't find a woman his age. Tee hee, you're so cute helping her writing that book! At the start a couple women he worked with may have felt like he was taking advantage of me. I think it was before they realized we really do have a lot in common. Maybe they felt like he didn't actually care but was somehow tricking me.

It seems to have stopped after a few weeks. His family has been very nice to me. Don't bring up the age difference on the first date. I went on a date with a man 13 years older than me and we went to a video game bar which had nintendo games. He proceeds to tell me that I'm not old enough to know what Nintendo is and I was like bro nintendo was from my generation, not yours. The guy did know that Nintendo hasn't gone bankrupt in the 90s but is still alive and kicking?

I dated a 34 yo when I was The pop culture gap was huge, even though I wasn't your typical 20 yo. The NES came up and I mentioned I grew up playing it, while he was standing in line to make his first console purchase. Is she in college still or has she graduated and is working a full-time job?

Her life stage is important beyond the actual number of her age. Yes, I'm wondering this too. I'm 23, but i went back to school after a 2 year break. We love each other very, very much, but i am feeling we are in different phases of life. He doesn't feel quite as strongly about this. If you and her are comfortable doing it, by all means do it. You're both of legal age so there's nothing stopping you.

For sure, but I'm not looking for permission from society, but rather any pitfalls regarding the huge age gap that I can avoid stepping into. Just think about how stupid you were at that age. That was me only a few years ago, and I shake my head at some stuff. This is based on more than one age-gap relationship, including one what the crap was I thinking? Keep in mind that it's not just an 8 year age gap, it's an 8 year difference in independent, adult experiences.

What I mean by that is the experience of living her own life, without the back-up of her parents, or college counselors, or whatever transitional support system she had. Of course, for all I know she's been living on her own since she was 14 and you're still in your parents' basement, but assuming you both graduated high school and went to college, her self-reliant adult experiences - the ones where if it all goes to crap she's the one who has to pick up the pieces - are measured in months, yours are getting on for a decade.

Again this is my experience, but she may have a considerably greater propensity for black-and-white thinking. That is, she knows how things should be, and what people should do, and what is right and wrong, and strangely it often matches exactly to what she would do - or what her parents would do. You, on the other hand, are likely to have more experience of grey areas, of how context changes things, of different-but-equal alternatives, and the fact that other people can have different values without being 'wrong'.

Also, she is going to be facing problems that are new to her, but you figured out years ago, so she might get a little more stressed about new stuff that you know how to handle.

On the other hand, she is likely to be more courageous about trying things for precisely that reason - there's lots of new stuff for her to figure out anyway, so a few additional new things aren't going to faze her much. Overall, try to avoid being patronizing or arrogant, stock up on some patience, and if she suggests doing something new and scary in a new and scary way in a place that's new and scary, unless you have a good reason to say no, then go for it.

This is so true. I'm the 23 year old, and it's nice to have this worded simply and to have the affirmation of what i have been trying to express for a month When I was 32, I dated a girl who I assumed was early 20s, it turned out after 3 dates, she was We had sex; she was super inexperienced but up for anything. She looked unbelievable naked. The downside was she was very flighty, flaked on plans a couple of times. Younger women can be easily distracted by shiny objects or whatever, I guess.

I guess the only advice I have is don't try to be what you're not If you're not into clubbing and she is, better let her go with her girlfriends and have fun rather than with you and be miserable.

Oh and maybe nap before dates. Don't let her catch you yawning at 2am! Our friends were different ages too, so that was a bit of a hurdle.

She was still in school so we were a mismatch financially. And maturity levels are undeniably different with such an age difference.

In some ways that was harder for her than for me. She needed a more equal partnership so she could bring more to the table.

And I missed the benefits of wisdom and experience a peer-aged partner can bring. Eight years isn't much and the gap does close over time. But I had ten or more years of independent adulthood out in the world as compared to her one or two. I think we loved each other, but what we were missing became more apparent over time.

My husband and i have a 6. Apart from what others have said about maturity, school age differences and picking up the tab there's one more important issue at the start of our relationship -. He had made mistakes and learned from them and he didn't want me to make the same ones.

This lead to a lot of lecturing! I learned some but some of it just didn't stick. A year-old should stick with someone at least For somebody aged 70, the bottom limit of respectability is The problem with this is that unofficial guidelines are exactly that.

So if 40 and 27 are acceptable, one could say that 41 and 26 are close enough. Yet soon after that, the slippery slope becomes 44 and 24, which can lead to Lolita situations and other felonies.

Some may ask another question. If a man is 40, is dating a pair of year-olds equivalent to dating one year-old? From a respectability standpoint, no. From a brag and go high-five your friends standpoint, yes. If the man is a billionaire, it comes with the territory. In fact, the entire point of becoming a billionaire is for men to be unbound by the rules of everyday life that constrain the rest of us.

When one is a septuagenarian billionaire, what else is there to do? Being a billionaire is not the real world, and even billionaires occasionally face consequences. Berlusconi has been accused of having sex with a woman under the legal age of consent. That is rape in any language and has nothing to do with dating. In the real world of dating, there are few actual rules.

Yet societal norms still exist. Half by seven may only be a guideline, but it is a useful one. Click here for reprint permission. Click to Read More and View Comments. Home Communities Archives Dating and the age gap: When is older too old?

Images: 23 year old man dating 31 year old woman

23 year old man dating 31 year old woman

Berlusconi has been accused of having sex with a woman under the legal age of consent.

23 year old man dating 31 year old woman

Just don't marry her young ass. Click here and select a username! It's fun as hell in many respects, but there was a definite difference in how we liked to socialise.

23 year old man dating 31 year old woman

We had been friends, I had a girlfriend, she had a boyfriend, and that was that. I have noticed women and people in general look down on you for dating younger girls. No one has given me any trouble about it. When one is a septuagenarian billionaire, what else is there to do? If you and her are comfortable doing it, by all means do it.