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Some people fall only for the persons of the opposite sex, some fall only for the persons of the same sex, some can fall for both. Use these signs to know your man better, and chances are, those subtle moves of his would become a lot more obvious in no time. E-mail The content of this field is kept private and will not be shown publicly. LGBT people are everywhere, and lots of times, they don't have stereotypical tastes. They may be planning your secret birthday party. Let them feel that way. It's like being asked to wear a skirt for a time.
He or she can help you talk to the less-accepting parent. Submitted by Ken on November 5, - Be as firm as possible without screaming or yelling. Not Helpful 6 Helpful This happens because the person may want to fit the label more precisely, and that is not a bad thing, but labeling that behavior as fake or untrue is hurtful to that person. Thanks for helping us achieve our mission of helping people learn how to do anything. Determining your sexual orientation can be a confusing experience, but only you can truly determine it, on your own terms.
I just found a post you have written online regarding your husband and sexual relations that's he's had with other men. I just recently found out that my husband has been doing this for the past few years. I have having a really hard time and want my marriage to survive. He is telling g me that he is done living this double life and that he loves me but I keep reading online that he won't ever change.
Laura,Your Marriage will Survive,actually probably get stronger. Fast forward,i still think about being with a Guy and have but a few times as I am very selective ie: Im Married to a wonderful Lady now 12 years. She found my emails to and from other Men,although nothing ever happened I was devestated that I hurt her and went to therapy.
My therapist,a Female,thought this was odd and sided with Her. If I could tell you how many Men have approached Me you would be shocked. I remember a friend telling me that he just Showered and that his Girlfriend doesnt like oral etc,so obvious today but I never went forward with it. He was an ex Inmate I looked after as a Correctional Officer and did my driveway with his brother who owns an Asphalt Co,you would never guess,built ,good looking and half my age.
He would come over to my house often just to "talk" now I know why. Men have a different drive than woman,we dont need the romance but rather the Bro-Mance and theres no attatchment after the deed is done,sometime never even talk again so dont take it personally. Hopefully He will be Safe in his ventures.
I never get over the desire to be with another male, physically, emotionally and just the feeling of a connection. My question to the men on here that have done this, if your wife or girlfriend found out and the two of you came to an understanding that she could work on forgiving you, but absolutely under no circumstances would she ever want to share you again with anyone else, do you think that's possible? I mean if my husband did this numerous times until he was caught, promises he will never do it again and even goes so far as to say that he's disgusted my his behavior, how do I go about my life and trust that he means what he says?
Doesnt the old saying once a cheater always a cheater apply here? I want my marriage to work but I am so worried. I keep wondering what is wrong with me. I know that this is not the norm and that almost all husband's would never have chosen to act on the things he chose too, why am I staying in my marriage and what's wrong with me?
The problem is not you. He may have an emotional need that's out of his control What you have to ask is, What am I willing to tolerate?
To think that it's just an emotional need sounds as though it's a free pass to behave however one wants. Isn't that like saying that having bisexual tendencies is out of the persons control and they cannot stop themselves from acting on it.
Shouldn't we all be accountable for our actions? I believe that my husband should make a choice. If he wants relationships with other men, whether it's bromance and nothing more, as a wife I will only want the relationship to be between the two of us. Not he and I and who've else he chose to have a play date with.
I guess the answer falls solely on the individual. I mean whether you're attracted to men or women, a commitment to another person means that you will not be with another individual. I don't know what I expect as an answer here. I think my heart wants so badly to have all of you men say that yes my husband loves me enough to only want me and no more casual sexual activities the rest of his life. Im sure He Loves You but you dont understand,it isnt a: Most that are close to there Moms will have tendencies to seek other Men for Casual Relationships.
Ever had a Three Way with Him? Ever watch Him go down on another man? Turn the tables,what f He knew you were seeing another Woman? Myself and many Men think of it as a Turn On. In todays world,everyone likes to put a Label on everything. Same with Him,He has no control over it,it has alot to do with His Childhood and Men will experiment i dont care what anyone says. Open your mind and dont close doors that "threaten" you as theres is no threat.
Life is too short over a BJ that lasted 10 minutes from another Dude,maybe your not doing anything other than the missionary at Home,Spice it up! Maybe have someone watch the Two of You get it on,theres alot of selections. Porn isnt reality so no Man does it because he saw it in a Porn,its part of the Make Anatomy,some Men act on it some dont and wait until there spouse passes to act on it.
Take a deep breath and tell him what you want sexually,put a Dildo in his Ass,anything this is normal. Okay, I am probably one of the least judgmental people I know, and I am certainly not prudish.
That said, too many of your comments blame the spouse, namely the wife, and do not account for the total lack of discipline in men. Cheaters do not cheat because they want to "suck out all the marrow of life". They don't cheat because their spouses are not wearing the right nightgown. Cheaters don't cheat because they're sick of missionary sex. They don't cheat because their spouses aren't blowing them often enough. Cheaters cheat because they are selfish, narcissistic, deceitful, and greedy as hell.
Anyone is free to love anyone and to have sex with anyone they please; however, when people men and women vow to remain "faithful", they promise that the fetish or kinky illusions of intimacy will not distract them from enjoying intimacy with their spouses while they are married.
I am a beautiful woman, even at 48, I haven't aged much beyond my early 30s. I frequent the gym not for him for for myself , I eat a vegetarian diet, and I am relatively successful professionally. Certainly, I notice men on television or in the grocery store who are attractive, but the difference between so many men's responses and mine is that I don't perceive men as sexual objects whose sole purpose is to fulfill my sexual fantasies.
Again, I'm not prudish, and I enjoy a healthy sex life with my spouse, but I do not think about sex every minute of the day, I don't want to be intimate with anyone I think is attractive any more than I want to try on and purchase every outfit I see that might look good on me or eat every food that might taste good.
Discipline is the key to life, and without it, neither men nor women will ever be truly happy or fulfilled. I think it is an excuse. To do what you want i really dont buy that I'm confused madness. A human knows what they are doing and why. If your Husband "Has Been" with other men then theres no worries but if its a Routine weekly endeavor then theres a problem. If I stated "I have been with over Men before my Marriage" would you believe me?
And if i said "I would like to find another Married man to hang out with"that would be the truth and I still have a Wonderful Marriage and Love my Spouse. Dont care to "come out of the Closet" dont like that Lifestyle and Yes,there is and are Diseases but mostly with Out Men.
My husband says he likes his bum bum touched because it's healthy for him. I've asked for sex, but he said he's just did it in the shower. Yes he has all the shower toys. He has asked me to be with a woman or a man so he can watch. My answer was no.
He was with one of his wall toys doing his bum bum,so I thought hey its my chance,so I do my deed in front of him, and he finishes then goes and takes a shower. Not even touching me,I was like OMG! Porn is huge with him, he looks at everything,everyone. I just don't have anyone to talk to about this. I'm confused on if he is gay or midlife crisis. I find that most gay or bi men have a history of substance abuse.
No excuse for what he did. Or doing sound like hid this issue for yrs. But most eventually divorce. Regardless of sexual preference, it is anti-marriage to be cheating lying and having secret sex. Your sexual health and health in general is a RISK!!!!! I am deeply deeply disturbed to read this discussion and that many men seem to be operating outside of marriage and no regard is discussed for people's safety.
In my mind, finding out that my husband has been abused or wants to connect with a father figure or whatever But it does not for one second trump my health and safety. I am shocked by this and would not stand for any of it ever. And I would want my children to have the same standards regarding their own personal health and safety.
I don't think you should worry about other people's marriages. No one who isn't in the marriage can judge it. I called my doctor the day I found it and scheduled blood tests and an exam. I'm sure you can imagine how difficult that was. It has now been four months since I found out and I love my husband just as much now as I did when I married him twenty years ago.
We have children, good jobs, a home and our future. As much as I agree with your post, until you're living with it, you just never know how you'll actually be. If You find Oral Sex for instance Filthy and Disgusting then this would be why a Man would seek it outside the marriage. No as its not a Worldwind romance,just a 10 Minute session with another Body,if it were with a Woman would it be disgusting?
No,I thought so maybe thats why you need to open up and read what goes on in the real world and stop peeking through Curtains. Dogma doesn't move the conversation forward, nor does it help you in your relationship. The problem is if I was your husband I wouldn't want to tell you either. The judgment is too harsh. So, have you no responsible for his 'lies'? This is a person you love, so would you not want to try to understand your husband and the position he's in?
Don't be part of the problem. Human beings are messy. Its funny how we can the least understanding? Be open to the perspectives of the ones you love. Harming you probably isn't in their minds, and it is likely not harming you is strongly considered.
Soften up a little and listen and probe and care. Most men can enjoy a blowjob, simply because it feels so good. With their eyes closed, they will not know who is giving it to them. Yes, A straight guy will give oral sex to a man because it's NOT about sex! It has something to do with getting something, like college Frat hazing scenarios. They want to be in the frat, so they do it.
It's like being asked to wear a skirt for a time. They will do it, and just to get it over with. It has nothing to do with sexual orientation. Also, yes some straight guys may GIVE oral sex because they have low self esteem. They have been told, growing up, that they are Gay, a faggot, etc. None of this is true, but being teased and picked on about this, plays a factor in how a man perceives himself. What one takes in; absorbs in life, in younger years, DOES effect their thoughts!
Men can have sex with a watermelon, but that doesn't change or impact their sexual orientation. Sexual orientation is based on attractions and fantasies. A man might give a BJ at a college hazing where he is coerced to perform it or perhaps while living in an all male environment where options are limited, but this is not something a straight guy will be attracted to or fantasize about. Often it is difficult to sort out, particularly when a man is married to a woman and capable of having sex with her but his fantasies, dreams, and attractions are predominately about men.
He convinces himself he is straight because he CAN have sex with his wife and he has an emotional bond with her. But his fantasies and attractions are and have always been about other men. That's not much different than having sex with the watermelon while fantasizing about a guy. It's the attraction and fantasy that defines his sexual orientation; not necessarily his behavior.
Of the Eight,half would have sex together or with other Boys. I didnt,became very successful and Married in my 40's. In todays world your not Normal unless You Marry and have Kids. I had two Girlfriends who also "experimented" as Teens.
Its funny how some Woman take this whole thing out of context,read,learn,understand that it has Zero to do with You and join a group or find others in your area with Husbands who seek a Stick instead of a Hole. Want to Spoon,there in the Kitchen Drawer. And all your exes probably got aids. Going to bath houses and blowing men and your still claiming him and having unprotected sex with him..
Eww maybe you need to go get checked before you call someone else out. If a man fucks another man he's gay. And by the way I have no problem with gay people.
I'm comfortable with my orientation but that statement that Liza made was really stupid. I'm praying for you..
If he has to be with men to fulfill his needs then it doesn't take a psychiatrist or rocket scientist to tell me he's gay. I swear people are so stupid. Have to go see a psychiatrist to determine if they like dick or not.
And you girl, might just be gay too..! Does that scare you?? Wake up and take off that blind fold.. The most ridiculous thing I've read in a very long time!
Are you male or female? The fact that you state your husbands have never slept with you but can go to bath houses and blow hundreds of men and are completely heterosexual and doesn't have to prove their sexuality by being with women is completely insane!
Your outlook is skewed! Im sorry this comment is a very old one from , seeing it's , you probably won't even see this but I had to ask Did I read your post right?
You've had multiple husbands.. As in just anal sex or all sex? But he does like "ding dongs in his bum bum? If that's what you meant, are you aware that you're making it sound as if a marriage license between a man and woman alone makes that male straight? Just takes it in the ass by men and has no contact with his wife?
I'm really thinking I just misunderstood My best friend is gay and another trans. So im not what so ever trying to be rude or homophobic if that's how I sound? But I think it's kinda odd if I'm not wrong. Joe Kort's comments are anecdotal.
As he admitted himself, there is no scientific evidence that backs him up. In fact, all the research on this topic disagrees with him - but it does sell hope and his books.
The only exception to that is homosexual OCD which is extremely rare and usually is the result of a man who was molested as a child. I have two points to make. The first is that homosexual exploration is not that rare among young kids and some adolescents and for most it is just that - a period of exploration. Point two is I am a grown, mature straight woman, I know what my sexual preference is.
It is okay to overlook and indiscretion or two hopefully I never find out about it but hopefully the man is most interested in females - me in particular. As a way of life I do not think regular sharing outside of the relationship is a great recipe for an enduring marriage. It is a very demoralizing experience to be a "place saver" for a man.
Also, I don't get the concept that a man can give a woman something the woman can't - and then the woman is supposed to be okay with that. I never really knew exactly what my ex was up to, although he told me he loved me many times. I am not a detective and did not follow him all over town.
However one time he broke up with me and told me we were incompatible. I asked him why he felt this way. I thought he just did not love me. Later on he changed his mind and we got back together again, so I thought perhaps he just had temporary cold feet. One time he told me that his personal life was none of my business.
I told him I thought I was part of his personal life. I never knew exactly what was going on and was at the gynecologist office every 3 months for a check up. That is no way to live! In the end this man could not make a commitment to marriage and I was extremely disappointed. However, it is obvious that his "personal life" had more meaning to him than his relationship with me.
By this point in life, I would hope the man has sorted out his preferences. For me, it is not emotionally healthy to be part of a love triangle of any sort. It creates far too much anxiety and if I am in an intimate relationship I like to feel connected, close, trusted, respected. I reciprocate those feelings to my partner, A third party in the mix is not for me. Why do we seek love when every attempt feels worse than the last?
How can you protect yourself from shady online characters? A Cure for Disconnection Loneliness is a complex problem of epidemic proportions, affecting millions from all walks of life. Why Does Fairness Matter? Follow me on Twitter. Friend me on Faceook. See how the person reacts to the opposite sex. Again, there's no one way that a gay person can react to the opposite sex to make it clear that they're gay. If the person you know is male and you've never seen him have a girlfriend, talk to girls, or show any interest in girls, then sure, there could be a chance that he's gay.
The same goes if the person you know is a girl. But it could also mean your person is just very shy. If you're in high school and your person has never been in a heterosexual relationship, they're much less likely to be gay than if they're forty and you've never seen them in a heterosexual relationship.
That person is also just as likely to always be having straight relationships. A gay guy could even be a real ladies' man for a long time.
When you're out, you can look to see if that person is giving off signs of flirting with people of the same gender. Just don't stare or be too obvious about it. The person could also just be really friendly. See who their friends are. Though a gay person can have friends who are mostly straight, they are more likely to be friends with other gay people.
If the person hangs out with a lot of people who are openly gay, then maybe they have come out to them and just haven't come out to everyone. If they go to a lot of gay bars with them "just for fun," then sure, they're more likely to be gay.
They can also just be hanging out with some people who aren't out yet, either. If the person spends a lot of time hanging out with just one person of the same sex, and that person is known to be gay, and he often crashes at that person's place and seems flirtatious with that person, then there's a chance the person might be gay. But they might not be -- gay people can obviously be best friends with straight people without having feelings for one another.
Check out their Facebook profile. Though if a gay person isn't out, they wouldn't be obvious about their sexual orientation on Facebook, you can still look through their profile for clues of their sexual orientation. But this can only get you so far. See how many of that person's friends are gay, and if they keep in close touch with that person. Again, it doesn't mean that person is gay, but even Facebook has a way of knowing that you're more likely to be gay if you have many more gay friends than the average person.
Is he always posting about gay rights? This could just mean that he's really passionate about the cause, or that he's more comfortable with his sexual orientation on Facebook. Discreetly ask your gay friends if they know anything. If you really have a good reason for wanting to know if that person is gay, ask your gay friends, if you have any. They may be a valuable resource for two reasons. One, they might have just heard something about the person from other gay people, or have seen the person at certain events.
Or two, they just may be better equipped to be able to tell if that person is gay. You should only ask them if they are closer to you then the person you suspect is gay. Otherwise, your plans to be discreet will backfire and that person will find out. Make sure you're asking for the right reasons. There are some very valid reasons for wanting know if someone you know is gay, and there are some not-so-valid reasons. If you want to know if that person is gay, then it should be because you are close to that person and want to show that person that you fully support him being gay and that you want to be there for him or her.
If you're not that close to the person and are just curious, then leave it alone. If you're wondering if your straight friend's significant other is gay, then you should leave it alone, too. It's not any of your business, unless you really have serious reasons to suspect this person is gay and are worried about your friend.
If you genuinely love and care about that person, and consider that person a close and dear friend, then you can ask if you really want to know. But remember that the person just might not be ready to come out -- it has nothing to do with you. If you really want to know, find a time when you can be alone with the person, and tell the person that you really care about him no matter what, and ask if he has anything to tell you.
If he doesn't, then calmly ask if he might be gay, and say that you only want to know because you want to support him and you want him to be open with you.
Remember that this most likely will not work. The person has good reasons for not coming out to you if he is gay, and it's not likely that you can force someone out of the closet.
If you're the first person to make the person acknowledge his sexual orientation, then you've made a big step and better be prepared to stay by your friend's side. You're helping people by reading wikiHow wikiHow's mission is to help people learn , and we really hope this article helped you.
Yes, I read the article. I'm gay and almost definitely sure the guy I like is gay. I don't really know him that well and I'm afraid he may feel offended if I ask him out, like I'm assuming he's gay.
What should I do? If you ask him out, that isn't the same as assuming he is gay. It's true he might get offended anyway if he's homophobic or just afraid of people thinking or knowing that he's gay, so it might be a good idea to ask him in private so he won't be embarrassed and so you won't be as embarrassed if he says no. Not Helpful 20 Helpful I've been with this guy for 3 years but I have a feeling he might be gay.
I'm in love with him but I don't want to end up married and broken mentally and emotionally. I've asked him and he denied it. If you don't feel like you can trust him to tell you the truth, then you should not marry him anyway.
Not Helpful 43 Helpful What do I say to friends who ask if my gay son has a girlfriend? Just tell them no. If he has a boyfriend, ask if he is okay with your friends knowing that. If he is, then you can tell them he has a boyfriend. But don't feel you need to explain any further. Not Helpful 36 Helpful Is my boyfriend gay?
He is only interested in my bottom. Probably not, assuming you are a woman. Some men are just into bottoms. He is into your bottom, not a man's bottom, after all. However, it is also possible that he's gay but doesn't want to admit it or live accordingly. You could ask him about it. Not Helpful 17 Helpful What if you suspect your son is gay? I need to know, just for myself. He might be showing little signs so you don't get surprised by it.
Also, don't pressure him to tell you. The more you do, the more likely he'll deny it. And while you think you need to know, this isn't about you, it's about him.
Sometimes he might not know it himself, so don't force him. If all else fails, sit him down in a nice, relaxed room. Set the mood, then ask him. If he is, support him. He might be scared that something will change, no child wants that. If he isn't, continue on. At least you know. Not Helpful 55 Helpful How should I ask a person out if I don't know if he's gay like me? Spend more time with this person and get to know him better before you ask him out. Then you will avoid any awkward moments.
Not Helpful 21 Helpful My friend wears a black ring with a gold diagonal bar on his middle finger. Or the ring could have another meaning to him. You can ask him if the ring means anything important to him.
Images: how to tell if someone you re dating is gay
For example, just casually mention something about a gay or lesbian celebrity that you heard about and see how your family reacts.
I always advise the women, and I write about this in the book, to not need all the details of what their man has done. If the person isn't out, then those people probably won't know anyway. Also, don't pressure him to tell you.
I do offer that explanation Submitted by Joe Kort on December 3, - Warnings Choose your friends wisely; you don't have to befriend other gay people simply because you have just discovered that you are gay yourself. What if you suspect your son is gay? How can I say to my family that I'm gay when Datlng just too scared to tell them? My husband says he likes his bum bum touched because it's healthy datingg him. I've been where you are- very recently. Gender is very complicated.
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